Clubbing, Part II

Note: MINI distinguishes the model line as Cooper Hardtop, Cooper Convertible, and Cooper Clubman. I'm going to get used to doing the same.

A full service on my '06 S gave me a couple hours to explore MINI's current offerings. I spent a few laps in a Hardtop S and Clubman last week.



The bad news is that they only had two Clubman S's on the lot. One was inside the showroom and clearly not going anywhere. The second, a hot chocolate flavor, was sold, locked, and waiting for the owner to show up (he did before I could snap a picture). So I drove a standard Clubman. I'm told that the S drives the same whether it's a standard Cooper Hardtop or a Clubman, so I took a small sizer out.

It was like being in my little car all over on opening day. I could feel the increased torque, and the super grippy tires made the mile-long loop around the dealership truly satisfying. It was nice being able to test some ins-and-outs without pushing any limits; this is something that most test drives don't include. For me, I was a) alone and b) extremely familiar with the physics of the vehicle. I executed a number of U-turns at 10-20 mph without squealing the tires, but without poking through the process. I'm still not completely sold on the minor turbo lag, and the center console still strikes me as too big. Other than that, this is a car I could live with when my S is done providing miles. (Not any time soon, I hope.)

The Clubman was a different story. I haven't driven a non-S since I originally bought mine a couple years ago. Ouch. The thing is downright soft and boring. The suspension is way too soft, the engine gutless, and the tires try to renegotiate any request to corner aggressively. This is a car that would be great for the guy who spends all his time driving and simultaneously jawing on the cell phone: he really doesn't care when that light turns green or how long it takes to get to 50. The physical dynamics and size are indeed the same as a Hardtop; I didn't feel any measurable difference, and it doesn't seem that the Clubman gives up any kartish attributes with its extra 10 inches.

So that's it, I was disappointed after driving the Clubman. I hope that's not the end of the story, though. I spent at least 35 minutes sitting in every seat, including the cargo space of the showroom Clubman S. This is the size, the look, and the car I want to follow my S. The barn doors grew on me very quickly with their swoosh-swoosh open. (I noticed the center line in the rear view mirror while driving for the first few minutes, then didn't notice it after that.) I have to hope that the reason the Clubman was so blah is that the base Cooper is, too. I didn't check.

Here's hoping the S is all it's cracked up to be. And that the salesman's rumor of a native JCW (not just a package add-on) is in the cards. Now, that has a fantastic shot of following Red.